Dr Seán’s Thorough Assessment

Dr Sean
Our resident doctor of genitourinary medicine and unicorns, Seán Cassidy, will be gently poking a swab at the nether-regions of pop in order to give his assessment of the latest hit parade releases! So, tell us – what have you been listening to this week Dr Seán?

 

Miley Cyrus – We Can’t Stop

Arriving on a wave of PR-constructed controversy and DRUGLOLZ (Oh she’s just being Mollie) is the long-awaited comeback from Cyrus, following the misguided Gaga-by-numbers of ‘Can’t Be Tamed’.  Despite the fanfare, it’s essentially a rather insipid Rihanna knock-off and certainly not the career reinvention that was Melanie “Superbitch” Chisholm’s ‘Goin’ Down’ (same hairstyle though).  Having said that, it does sound like a HIT and it *does* feature the line “LA DA DI DA DI”.  Brilliant.

Little Nikki – Little Nikki Says

When we first heard ‘Intro Intro’ by ex-Soundgirl Little Nikki last year, we thought to ourselves now *this* is what the MKS comeback should sound like.  Her new song evolves and further refines her signature sound to incorporate a playground chant with harder-edged beats.  Imagine ‘Swagger Jagger’ except, y’know…less dreadful.  It also features what is arguably the lyric of the year: “YOU ARE INVITED TO JOIN ME IN AWESOME”.  We would quite like that printed on some y-fronts.  It’s hard to imagine this reaching the upper echelons of the hit parade but *we* like it, and that’s all that matters really.

Mutya Keisha Siobhan – Flatline

The first single proper by the recently-reunited (well, TWO YEARS ago) MKS was never bound to do things by half.  We remember the first time we heard this: Siobhan’s gorgeous opening vocal took our breath away and by the end we were a weeping mess.  Oh god, and THOSE harmonies.  Sugababes v1.0 always had that uncanny knack of simultaneously sounding “Am-I-bovvered” nonchalant mixed with end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it devastation.  To our ears this is a bona-fide SMASH and, while we reserve full judgement on this comeback until we hear the album (sound the EMELI SANDÉ klaxon), this really does feel like the start of something special.  And there’s no trace of ‘Get Sexy’ here, for which we must all be grateful.

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